The Dharma is operating perfectly when I have no self.

Vạn pháp đang vận hành một cách hoàn hảo khi mình không có cái ta.

Note: dharma means phenomenon. Phenomenon in Cambridge dictionary means
1. Something that exists and can be seen, felt, tasted, etc. especially something unusual or interesting.
2. a remarkable person or thing.
3. Existing thing

Sister Hue Chau taught me a lesson on the above statement. She said whether a person/thing is good or bad, right or wrong- they are only the phenomena. We shall let things be, not to stop, not to interfere, not to put our ‘self’ in it. Whatever will be, will be. We shall move on and not let these phenomena interfere ourselves. We should see these phenomena are our teachers who challenge us to overcome our trouble mind.

What a beautiful and strong statement I will never forget. I have to thank this bodhisattva spiritual sister who taught me an important lesson in life. Now I can truly see how the phenomena is operating. They are purely based on the law of impermanence, the law of interconnection, the law of cause and effect.

They arise and pass away under the right conditions at the right time. We just can’t interfere and if we insist to interfere, the thing or situation will transform into another things or situations based on the law of cause and effect. The world inside and outside us keep changing, changing and changing. We can’t stop instead we go along without letting these phenomena affecting us. If we let these affect us then we suffer. The reason we suffer is because we attach/hold onto the continuously changing thing/situation. This is so logical and yet we just cannot see it.

Gratitude to my father

Anh Thien Tanh lended me a book on “How to Talk So Your Husband Will Listen” by Rick Johnson. It is a very interesting book about men and the skills how to communicate with them.

There is a chapter about the first man in a woman’s life. I think it is chapter 7 - The first man in every woman’s life. After reading that chapter I am so thankful to my first man.

I thank my dad. He loved me for who I am and gave me total freedom to grow up to a woman I am today. He gave me a colourful childhood. He showed me courage to fight in difficult times; he taught me perseverance, persistence, passion, determination, adaptation, love, art of giving, trust, truthful, straightforward and open, always see the bright side of life, humble, independent, to be rebel, to be wild, and much more. All these qualities made me stand strong in all aspects of my life. There were many moments in my life that he made me proud. For sure he is my yardstick from which I measure the greatness of a man, and that was how I have chosen my husband.

He taught me the biggest lesson in life is to let go. During his last 2 days in his life, again he taught me courage to facing his own death. He let go of his attachment (my mother) and went in a peaceful way that rarely others would have followed. His body was soft even on the day he was cremated. The person who dressed him from the funeral parlour told me that he must have had a peaceful mind as he was freed from his body. This person one of Dalai Lama’s student. As a result of letting go therefore his body was soft even though he was dead for six days.

I am also grateful for his love and devotion to his family. He is loved by his family and mostly his little daughter.

The Art of Receiving

On the trip to India in 2019, anh Thien Tanh taught me about receiving. He said not only do we have to learn how to give compassionately; we also need to learn to receive compassionately. This lead me to reflect and helped me realise giving and receiving are one. He told me the story of Maha Kassapa received alms food from the poor to build up their merits.

We often place the importance of giving and forget that receiving is also a practice by itself. Receiving is not easy to attend because of our ego. Can we happily accept people’s helping hand? Can we easily accept people’s kindness such a complement, a smile, a hug? At times we may question the giver’s purpose. Do we deserve all these good complement? We ponder upon the goodness we receive. This is our old habits that lead us to all these negative thoughts. When someone complements us why can’t we receive it with a gratitude and smile?

Why not try to welcome people’s smile, hug, complement and helping hand from others in a way of appreciation. Try to open our doors to people who bring joys into our life. Whatever situation we are in, we just receive with a smile and gratitude. In a mind of wishing that person is happy. Receiving is not only a lesson to open our heart but also honours the giver. It makes them feel that they made a difference in our life. This is a win-win situation. We can make the giver happy and us happy.

As It Is

Yesterday I cooked a pot of pumpkin soup. My husband said it tasted a bit strange. I asked him what he meant by strange? He said it was tasteless. I told him that I cooked the same soup last year for a zen nun. She asked what I have put in for such a tasty pumpkin soup. My soup consisted of only pumpkin, potatoes and water and nothing else. I laughed at him and said because the nun can taste the soup as it is, not as what it should be. We often hear, see and feel the world around us as it should be. This is how our suffering begins. For example when we taste the pumpkin soup, we expect it as a French or traditional English pumpkin soup. It has to be as smooth and creamy as silk with right seasonings. Unlike my hand mashed pumpkin soup without any seasoning. We can use this analogy in parenting. Parents often have a set standard for their children. If their children are not up to their standards or expectations then they suffer. Parents are not the only ones who suffer their children are also the victims. As a parent why can't we accept our children as who they are? In most cases we are not able to accept our appearance, job, family, status in the society, etc, etc. Why should we match them/us with what the world has set for them/us?

All troubles begin with us not accepting things as they are. This is a very important factor in finding our inner peace and happiness if we can accept the phenomena as it is. To practise this we don't judge when our five senses come into contact with the outside world. For example our eyes see objects and we just see them as they are. Our mind has no judgement/comment on objects that we see. This applies to our hearing and touching/feeling senses. If we can do this then we see/hear/feel the world around us objectively. We give ourselves and the phenomena a fair go. Let's go back to the pumpkin soup example. We can taste the real taste of the pumpkin and potato, not the past pumpkin soup nor the future pumpkin soup. In this we make peace with ourselves as we enjoy our lives right here and now.

Gemstone

I recently bought a stone on eBay. I showed it to my girl. She just glimpsed it and ignored. I asked her about my stone. She said she wouldn't keep it even it is for free. I wonder how many people will recognise this stone other then the gemologists.

Do you know this is a brown star sapphire? It cannot be recognised easily because it is covered with dirt. Once it gets cut and polished, it will show its beauty and asterism under specific lighting.

Do you know we have a gemstone within us? We cannot recognise it because it gets covered with all sorts of thoughts. Thoughts belong to the past, future and present. We often do not give one second to ourselves to look at our gemstone within. We are too busy, too busy to think what are we going to have for dinner, too busy to think what we are going to do next, too busy for our work, too busy to be too busy. In the morning we are too busy to work. We don’t even give ourselves a good look in the mirror to look for our imperfections. We never slow down to see our gemstone within.

There was once a Buddhist monk who gave me a Geo stone. He asked me to tell him what message the stone gave. I examined it and opened it. I saw glittering crystals. I said "Don't judge people from outside". He said: "Yes, but that is one very important message." I said: "Our beauty is from within." He asked: "Yes, what beauty?" I said our kindness, compassion, love. He said one day I will truly understand.

Years passed and today I now know what our gemstone is called in Buddhist terms - our Buddha nature. This gemstone appeared in most of the Buddhist texts. How do we realise our Buddha nature? We need to give ourselves a little bit of time each day to relax our mind by letting go of our thoughts. There are techniques to train our mind to become quiet. We can only meet our Buddha nature with a calm and silent mind. According Buddhist texts this gemstone within us has ultimate wisdom - infinite light, infinite life.

A lesson from Ayya

My friend Chi, Nun Nibbida and I went to offer dana to Ayya Santacārī on 26/08/2017. Ayya talked about the future Buddhist youth weekend school and other stuff. One teaching that stuck in my mind was when Ayya gave a talk to a 16 year old boy. She said: “Before we do meditation we examine how much compassion is in our minds? How much calmness is in our minds? How much kindness is in our minds? How much anger is in our minds? How much agitation is in our minds? How much happiness is in our minds? After a good meditation we will examine again to see how much compassion is in our minds. How much calmness is in our minds? How much kindness is in our minds? How much anger is in our minds? How much agitation is in our minds? How much happiness is in our mind?

To me this should not only apply in a meditation session. We should apply this into our daily activities such as before we talk we should examine our stage of mind and after we talk we should examine again our stage of mind. By doing so we will then be able to clearly see the motives of our talk. For example when I say someone is not right. I examine what is the purpose of this when I say someone is not right? Is this because of my jealousy? Is this because I don’t like this person? Do I want to hurt this person? Is this the situation true? Even if the situation is true do I have to confront this person? How much kindness in my mind? How much happiness in my mind? After I have said it I should again examine what stage of my mind is in.

This is a very important lesson that I have learnt from Ayya. It is a very simple but effective way to examine the activities in our mind. With time and practice of knowing our minds we will be able to become masters of our minds instead of slaves to it

Lapidary Philosophy

A good lapidarist can always find their own faults in their work.
A good Buddhist can always see their own faults not others.

A good lapidarist can take in people's criticism so that they can improve their work.
A good Buddhist can take in people's criticism so that they can improve their practice.

No matter how ordinary a piece of stone is, a good lapidarist can turn it into a precious gem.
No matter how ignorant a person can be, a good teacher can lead them on the path to enlightenment.

It doesn't matter whether it is a precious gem or an ordinary stone once it is in your hand, you should treat it as precious as it can be.

A good lapidarist should treat each of their work as serious as can be.
A good Buddhist should treasure each duyen (faffinity) as no tomorrow.

No matter how sharp or rough a stone is, slowly with time under a turning wheel it will become smooth and round as it can be.
No matter how much defilements/bad habits we have, with time and consistent practice we will become a better happy person.

You cannot be a lapidarist master in 5 minutes. You have to learn it step by step under a good teacher's guidance.

The turning wheel or tumbler will smoothen any rough surface.
Sila (precepts) and samadhi (mindfulness) are just like the turning wheel, these will smoothen our craving, hatred and ignorance.

Lapidary is like meditation. You are fully aware the surface of the stone, the turning wheel and your hands. Without your full awareness you might chip off your finger nails or damage your stone.

A person is just like a rough piece of stone. It is full of sharp edges (ego) and covered with dirt (defilements). With good lapidary (Sila/precepts, samadhi/mindfulness and panna/wisdom) a stone will turn into a gem (a liberated happy person).

The harder you push your stone into the polishing wheel, the quicker it flicks out and as a result you will break your stone. You have to be slow, rolled, gentle and gentle to the wheel and your stone. The result will be brilliant if you are patient and gentle.