Five years has gone by, the fig tree at the front yard is still
blooming. I am standing next to it and am thinking about you. You used to look
for figs from this tree. You told me you had a great feast of figs somewhere in
Turkey while you did your morning walk.
You just don’t know how much I have missed you. I cannot
find someone to discuss my love within. I remembered I told you I love all sorts
of pebbles and stones. You didn’t say a word but showed me you have lot of
stones in your pocket. We could spend hours talking about stones (thunder eggs
and geodes), travelling, Buddhism, books, music,
religions in general and anything that happen during the day. Now I am into Hetian pebble and who I can
discuss with about this?
Life is different without you. I have no longer to have
someone listens to my whinge and swear, to have someone to challenge me to
think deeper and wider, to have someone to tell me off when I am mischief. I
remembered there was one occasion that we discussed the topic of the first
precept ‘Not to kill’. You told me something that you had done and I said you had
no compassion. You didn’t rebuttal back but few months later, I went to India.
You asked me how I spent my first night in India. I told you I committed into
killing. I killed more than fifty mosquitoes inside my hotel room. You asked me
under what circumstances did I commit the killing. I said to prevent my son to
get sick. You then brought up the first precept and the compassion concept. You
made sure I understood the first precept and the correlation between compassion
and wisdom. I apologised to have said you ‘lacked compassion’ and you laughed.
You then challenged me to reveal my killing to the world, especially to all the
monks who lived in my state.
Today is the day you said farewell to all of us five years
ago. Thay TP said in 10 years’ time he can start looking for a young boy who
needs accommodation or his help in Dharma. To tell you the truth, I don’t want
to see you in this samsara, but I will never know whether you might come back
and continue your preaching job.
At the suffering deep and wide sea you preach
Beyond preferences we ought to see
Here and now is where we dwell
Inside ourselves happiness and joy we should
seek
No enlightenment button that we can press to
be free
Yin-Yang, the symbol of balance and harmony
should be indwell
Alive is the biggest of our achievement we
should reach
Not a super-monk you keep retell
Around you go to give the wake up speech.
20/04/2013
