In October one of my friends called me and sought confirmation whether I was still alive. When I picked up the phone and said hello, she said: "Thank goodness you are still alive!" I asked: "Did you expect me to be dead?" She told me someone started this rumour about I have been to heaven. Someone even said my ashes had been placed in Thien Tu Hy Xa. She said the Chinese temple knew about this news. I was wondering who started this rumour.
Last night I went to a Vietnamese fundraising dinner. I bumped into a friend. She grasped my hands and said thank goodness I look well. I laughed out loud and asked, "Did you also expect me to be dead?" She went on and said, “So-on-so said you are dead and told so-on-so about this. Now at TAFE (my previous workplace) knew you are dead. So I asked a friend of yours at the Chinese temple about your ashes. She said that your ashes must be at Thien Tu Hy Xa because you go to that temple." I said: "Ah.... I understand who spread this rumour now." She asked: "Aren't you upset? You should tell that person off about this rumour." I said: "No, I am not upset and I won't tell that person off." She asked: "Why not?" I laughed and said: "It is all up to that person to say what she wants to say. I have no control of her speech. If she wants to say something, let her. Maybe she has psychic power that she has seen me transform from an old me to a new me in some way. The old me has dead and a new me has born."
After I have joined this new group of Thien Tanh Khong, I feel I have reformed. This group opened a door to my own treasure cave. I have learnt so much and yet more to come. The beauty of this group is to provide me with some tools to dig up my own treasures within. The theories they provide are clear and concise, easy to understand and follow, not just base on belief.
At Buddha's time, he gave a dharma talk on Kalama sutra. Here is the text:
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
In Thien Tanh Khong, no belief is involved. I only need to work on myself to achieve what I want to achieve! I only need to practise daily and maintain my four postures (sitting, walking, standing and lying) full awareness with wordless cognition. No secret or back doors that I can go for. Yes, the old me with all the misunderstanding about the phenomenon and the Buddha dharmas is dead and this new me has reborn in a world of Không nói (Silence).
Smile is the most contagious disease. One person smiles then the whole group of people smile. People use to ask how come I look so young. I don’t look young at all but I often dress myself with a smile.
On my recent trip to Bhutan, I went with a friend. When our guide Karma asked how old are we? Of course we let him guess. At the end we had to tell him our age. I was so surprise that my friend said she frequently feels like she is 80 years old and yet she is much younger than me. I felt sorry that she felt that way. I am a bit shy to admit I feel like I am still a 16 year old on the inside. I have to laugh out loud. Sigh…
In Bhutan, I have seen many beautiful smiles from the young to old generation of this country. They don’t look well off but they seem happy. Karma told us: “This country promotes inner happiness, not being materialistic.” I also observed people in Vietnam. They don’t smile. Instead their faces express sadness, anxious, stress and unfriendliness. I remembered back in 2008 I went to Vietnam with a group of Westerners. One commented how come he said hello and smile to the Vietnamese’s, and they didn’t say hello and smile back to him. He had culture shock because he didn’t receive a smile from people. I asked him to understand the hardship people live in that country. They just could not smile. I asked a Taxi driver why people are so unhappy. He said because they want too much and they are never satisfied. In comparison Vietnam is much advance and well off than Bhutan but their people are not as happy as the Bhutanese. Hmmm… This makes us think ….
People call me little sunshine
'cause I often wear a smile
I smile first thing in the morning
'cause it is good to be alive
I smile in any situation
'cause I know good or bad still will pass
It is a disease
It is contagious
Once it gets start, it spreads
It travels fast
It travels wide
A single smile like mine
Could reach any corner of the world
Please start with a smile today
To infect this unhappy world. (To bring hope into this unhappy world)
During my second Vipassana retreat in 2014 at day 4th I had an extraordinary experience. At that time my mind was as calm and tranquil as it could be. Suddenly I felt a hot boiling feeling which began from the top of my head running down to the tips of my toes. It felt as if my whole body was in sauna. I observed my sensation, moved on and did not pay too much attention to it. It again happened the next day at the similar time. I was puzzled and thought: “Hmmm… strange! Is this some sort of special power?” I requested a time to see the teacher. I reported this sensation of mine to her. She looked at me and asked: “How old are you?” I said I am 51 years old. She smiled and said this is a hot flash during menopause. I burst into laughter. I told her that I thought I had some sought of superpower. We both laughed out loud. I am still laughing while I am typing this. As a worldly people we all love to have superpower, don’t we?
I am not sure about other people, but for myself to get into deep meditation (a complete quiet mind) is not easy. If I can keep my mind silent for more than 30 minutes, I will be over joy. I have asked many people who have practised meditation for at least more than three years. They all said their mind is still chattering inside. I attended a 10 days meditation retreat in 2014. It took me three to four days to calm my mind down to a minimum level of noise. If you have never tried meditating then you won’t know how nosy it is inside our mind. We are constantly talking to ourselves without us knowing it. That is why we are tired; we are stressed; one minute we are happy; next minute we are sad. We spend a vast amount of energy in self-chattering. We constantly torture ourselves with all the past events; we grasp on the present moments and we dream the future. It is quite interesting to observe these thoughts arise and pass away in our mind. Although during the retreat we have taught not to react to these thoughts but at the end of the day we are still exhausted.
In my recent Thien Bat Nha I course, I have learnt a technique to use two words: “Don’t talk”. These two words are similar to an order. When I said “Don’t talk” in my mind, I could get a complete silence quicker than I use the breathing technique. After I practised for couple of days, I have improved the time to keep my mind silence. If I continuously practise in this way then I have the ability to order my brain when I need it to be silence. It is like a trigger. When I want it to be silence then it ought to be silence.
These two words are as the password to open our purest awareness (the wordless cognitive awareness area) in our brain. Why do we want to achieve this? This helps us to reach the realization of Nibbana (Atakkāvacara).
Since birth till now, we have been taught how to label all things that we have contacted. When we are brought into this world, straight away we receive a name from our parents. They have already labelled us in such a way. We have been taught this is our mother, father, sister, food, tree, flower, etc.etc. We see things not as what they are but as what we have defined them in our world. We contact the world through our eyes, ears, nose, tongue and our skins. Through these senses we see not what we truly see; we hear not what we truly hear; we feel not what we truly feel; we cognise not what we cognise. Instead we contact with the world subjectively. This is how we brought up and we have forgotten how to look at the world around us objectively.
For example during Thien Can Ban, we had congee for lunch. When we see a bowl of congee, straight away in our mind we will say: “How come this congee is so loose. After we have this congee, we might go to toilet many times.” So we label this is a loose congee and will make us go to toilet. We have not even eaten this bowl of congee but in our chattering mind we have concluded this loose congee will make us go to the toilet. In this way how can we see the true nature of this bowl of congee?
This reminds me Bhikkhu Dae In’s talk at Shravasti the Korean temple. He actually wanted to point out to us the truth of nature. He used a flower as an example. He said we have named this is a rose, an orchid, a lily and so on. But have these flowers said they are roses, orchid, lily and so forth. Have they said they are yellow, red or white? Have they said they are big or small? All these names that we have given to the world around us are so limited and yet we think we are always right. Because of these labelling and differentiation we have conflicts therefore we cannot see the true nature of these flowers. We like roses and dislike lilies base on our subjective chattering mind. Bhikkhu Dae In also said Silence is the best Dharma.
At that time I thought Silence gives us the opportunity to reflect upon ourselves in a serene and silent tone. I can now understand further what he meant by this after attended the Bat Nha I Thien course conducted by Ni Su Triet Nhu. This silence is to give up labelling. This silence in our mind is a MUST for us to be able to see the world in an objective way - without prejudgement, bias and preference. Silence means no self-dialogue inside our mind. Ni Su Triet Nhu gave talk on Bāhiya Sutta: “In reference to the seen, there will be only the seen. In reference to the heard, only the heard. In reference to the sensed, only the sensed. In reference to the cognized, only the cognized. That is how you should train yourself. When for you there will be only the seen in reference to the seen, only the heard in reference to the heard, only the sensed in reference to the sensed, only the cognized in reference to the cognized, then, Bāhiya, there is no you in connection with that. When there is no you in connection with that, there is no you there. When there is no you there, you are neither here nor yonder nor between the two. This, just this, is the end of stress.” (translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu)
If we can see ‘This, just this’ then we have seen the truth nature of the phenomena. If we can see ourselves as ‘this, just this’ (as such) in our purest awareness then we have seen the truth nature of us. The truth nature of the phenomena and the truth nature of us are one. ‘This, just this’ has no beginning and ending, nor it has less or more, nor it is impure or pure. It is everywhere. That is why Buddha taught us to practise to see the insight of things as they are (Yathābhūtaṃ), not as what we want them to be then we can experience the truth of nature.
