A lost Dharma sister

Somewhere on the path we must have met
Now on this Buddha land
You and I
Are sharing the same room, stories, habits, and dharma wishes
We seemed match
People even mistake we are sisters
Yes, we are sisters
You are my lost Kalyana Mitra
Trip is over
We might not seeing each other again
But please remember
When we are dwelling in the silence of our mind
There is where we will meet again

The Dharma is operating perfectly when I have no self.

Vạn pháp đang vận hành một cách hoàn hảo khi mình không có cái ta.

Note: dharma means phenomenon. Phenomenon in Cambridge dictionary means
1. Something that exists and can be seen, felt, tasted, etc. especially something unusual or interesting.
2. a remarkable person or thing.
3. Existing thing

Sister Hue Chau taught me a lesson on the above statement. She said whether a person/thing is good or bad, right or wrong- they are only the phenomena. We shall let things be, not to stop, not to interfere, not to put our ‘self’ in it. Whatever will be, will be. We shall move on and not let these phenomena interfere ourselves. We should see these phenomena are our teachers who challenge us to overcome our trouble mind.

What a beautiful and strong statement I will never forget. I have to thank this bodhisattva spiritual sister who taught me an important lesson in life. Now I can truly see how the phenomena is operating. They are purely based on the law of impermanence, the law of interconnection, the law of cause and effect.

They arise and pass away under the right conditions at the right time. We just can’t interfere and if we insist to interfere, the thing or situation will transform into another things or situations based on the law of cause and effect. The world inside and outside us keep changing, changing and changing. We can’t stop instead we go along without letting these phenomena affecting us. If we let these affect us then we suffer. The reason we suffer is because we attach/hold onto the continuously changing thing/situation. This is so logical and yet we just cannot see it.

Gratitude to my father

Anh Thien Tanh lended me a book on “How to Talk So Your Husband Will Listen” by Rick Johnson. It is a very interesting book about men and the skills how to communicate with them.

There is a chapter about the first man in a woman’s life. I think it is chapter 7 - The first man in every woman’s life. After reading that chapter I am so thankful to my first man.

I thank my dad. He loved me for who I am and gave me total freedom to grow up to a woman I am today. He gave me a colourful childhood. He showed me courage to fight in difficult times; he taught me perseverance, persistence, passion, determination, adaptation, love, art of giving, trust, truthful, straightforward and open, always see the bright side of life, humble, independent, to be rebel, to be wild, and much more. All these qualities made me stand strong in all aspects of my life. There were many moments in my life that he made me proud. For sure he is my yardstick from which I measure the greatness of a man, and that was how I have chosen my husband.

He taught me the biggest lesson in life is to let go. During his last 2 days in his life, again he taught me courage to facing his own death. He let go of his attachment (my mother) and went in a peaceful way that rarely others would have followed. His body was soft even on the day he was cremated. The person who dressed him from the funeral parlour told me that he must have had a peaceful mind as he was freed from his body. This person one of Dalai Lama’s student. As a result of letting go therefore his body was soft even though he was dead for six days.

I am also grateful for his love and devotion to his family. He is loved by his family and mostly his little daughter.

The Art of Receiving

On the trip to India in 2019, anh Thien Tanh taught me about receiving. He said not only do we have to learn how to give compassionately; we also need to learn to receive compassionately. This lead me to reflect and helped me realise giving and receiving are one. He told me the story of Maha Kassapa received alms food from the poor to build up their merits.

We often place the importance of giving and forget that receiving is also a practice by itself. Receiving is not easy to attend because of our ego. Can we happily accept people’s helping hand? Can we easily accept people’s kindness such a complement, a smile, a hug? At times we may question the giver’s purpose. Do we deserve all these good complement? We ponder upon the goodness we receive. This is our old habits that lead us to all these negative thoughts. When someone complements us why can’t we receive it with a gratitude and smile?

Why not try to welcome people’s smile, hug, complement and helping hand from others in a way of appreciation. Try to open our doors to people who bring joys into our life. Whatever situation we are in, we just receive with a smile and gratitude. In a mind of wishing that person is happy. Receiving is not only a lesson to open our heart but also honours the giver. It makes them feel that they made a difference in our life. This is a win-win situation. We can make the giver happy and us happy.