The Ghost Month – Luna 7th month.

We have entered the 7^th month (August 17 to September 15 2012) in the Luna calendar. This is the month that Chinese call the Ghost month. Chinese perceive this is the month that people should avoid going night life such as going out after dark because they might meet a ghost. This is the month that they believe the Gate of Hell is open for the ghosts to reach out to the outer world. This is the month that Chinese Buddhist will chant the great vows of Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva. This is a sutra which talks about filialness and the hell realm. Some Chinese are so superstitious that they will take the whole month off of work to avoid bum into any ghost.

But the temple I go to every Sunday don’t chant the great vows of Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva instead they chant the Ullamabana Sutra and the Filial-Piet sutra. They celebrate the season of Filial Piety. This is a more down to earth celebration than celebrating the Ghost month. We should highlight the filial piety rather than superstitions to the young generation. We should emphasize the importance of gratitude towards our parents, our nation, our teachers and, our friends and relatives instead of ghosts. No wonder people who don’t understand Buddhism think Buddhism is superstitious!

Filialness

What is filialness? As a child and a mother of two, how can I see filialness?

Filialness is like compassion and loving kindness. This also goes with understanding (wisdom). As a child working/studying interstate/overseas that doesn’t mean you don’t love or care for your parents any less. If you live far away from your parents; if you know how to love and look after yourself then you have fulfilled your filialness to your parents. But what does it mean to know how to love and care for yourself?

1)      You don’t go with friends who lead you into doing all the wrong things such as drugs, alcohol, stealing, indulging yourself into late night parties

2)      You care for yourself by not to getting sick all the time, by eating and sleeping right, wearing the right clothes according to the weather

3)      You don’t waste time and money on anything that is not necessary (you know how to set priorities in your life)

If a child can do all the above when they study/work interstate/overseas then they won’t let their parents worry, this is called filialness. Filialness doesn’t mean you need to be with your parents 24 hours 7 days per week. Filialness means you don’t make your parents worry. Even if you live with your parents and you make them upset all the time, this doesn’t mean you love and care for your parents.

Sometimes parents can be unreasonable such as my father told me years ago: “You get marry with this guy.” I told my father: “I don’t love him. I can’t get marry with him.” He also said: “You get away from Buddhism!” I didn’t listen to him that doesn’t mean I don’t love my father. I love him dearly but if I listen to him, I myself will suffer and miss out on the vast number of valuable life teachings from Buddhism. I explained to my father about his unreasonable requests. At the end he agreed.Filialness doesn’t mean you need to listen and obey blindly with unreasonable requests. As a child, you listen with care to their side of the story and you tell them how you feel. This is why I don’t have generation gap with my parents.

As for all mothers, they want to see their children excel. It is just like you are flying a kite, you want your kite to fly the highest. As a mother, I want to see my children fly high. It doesn’t matter what they do but they have to strive for their best in the field they have chosen.  

Buddhism teaches us to have filialness but not to become attached. Parents love their children and children love their parents. This is human nature. When we love without attachment, this won’t form a burden on both sides. Like Siddhartha Gautama, he loved his father but he left home to pursue his dream – to help people liberate from suffering. This didn’t mean he didn’t love his father any less. He attained nirvana to repay his filialness to his parents. He did his best for his parents and people. He didn’t become a king and follow his father’s wish. This didn’t mean he did not have any filialness. We need to see things in a wider (preferably 360 degree – to see the whole range instead of a corner) perspective.

When we drink water, think of its source

This morning a Chinese man asked me why I come to this temple. I answered “This temple teaches my children the values of being a good person. What are the human and family values? Coincidently, Thay today touched on an important value (When we drink water, we need to think of its source), a value that I want to instil into my children’s young mind.

Thay asked “Why this month is called Le Vu Lan (Ullamabana)?” He said this is the month for us to pay gratitude. There are four things that we need to pay gratitude for:

1)           Our parents – without them we won’t be here. Our mother bares all the hardship to bring us up. She goes through physical (pregnancy and give birth) and mental (rebellion, worries for their children’s health, future and all sorts) pain that we have caused. Our parents work hard to get money to give us the best education and life style. Most of the time we don’t thank them and we complain to them instead.

2)           Our homeland (Australia) – without this land where can we stay? Where can we work? Where can we have live comfortably? Where we can get our necessities (such as food, clothes, household items, cars and so on)? We should be thankful to have this land to live and support; we should thank people who provide our necessities; we should thank the earth, natural resources, beautiful clean air, etc. etc.

3)           Our teachers – without teachers we cannot tell what is right and what is wrong. We pay gratitude to the main stream school teachers who provide us skill to survive and we pay gratitude to our spiritual teachers who lead us to understand the right and wrong. Buddha is our teacher who shows us the Truth of the phenomenon. All the patriarchs that carried and taught Buddha teachings from generation to generation. Our present monks and nuns that teach us Buddha’s teachings, help us to understand the Truth of the phenomenon. We should thank Buddha, all the patriarchs, Su Ong Thich Thanh Tu and Thay for these profound Buddha's teachings. We should thank Thay for providing a place for us to learn and guide us.

4)           Our friends and relatives – without friends and relatives we can be very lonely. They support and help us every single day. Our friends and relatives can be our teachers as well. Through our interaction with them we can use them to reflect on ourselves. We should thank the temple community who support us, provide food and ao trang for us, provide a clean and happy place for us to learn Dharma.

When I read the sutra for paying gratitude to our parents, I couldn’t hold back my tears. What have we done to repay for our parents? Nothing compared to what they have done for us. From time to time we make them happy and we think we are giving back to them.  Like the Buddha said in the Sutra on the Difficulty in Repaying the Profound Kindness of Parents: “If there is a person whose left shoulder carries his father and right shoulder carries his mother until his skin is rubbed away to the bone, and his bone is bored through to the marrow, and who climbed Mount Sumeru for hundreds of thousands of kalpas until the blood pours down to his ankles, then that person would still not be able to repay the deep kindness of his parents.” As children  there is nothing much that we can do to repay our parents’ kindness other than being obedient (not talking back), making them happy, not letting them worry for us, speaking loving kind words, being appreciative of  their kindness, be there, care for them and love them. We can also help them to understand the Truth of the phenomenon (Dharma) and lead them to attain their inner peace (liberation from fear and anxiety).

In summary this month is for us to pay gratitude to the sources who give us life, support and help us to become who we are. Without the above 4 sources we won’t be able to survive in this world.

Happy for the month of Le Vu Lan