煮豆燃豆萁, 豆在釜中泣。
本是同根生,相煎何太急。
本是同根生,相煎何太急。
by Cao Zhi (192－232)
Three Kingdoms（220-265）
Burning the beanstalk to cook beans,
The beans are crying in the pot:
" Originally we were grown from the same root,
Why are you boiling me so urgently? "
Three Kingdoms（220-265）
Burning the beanstalk to cook beans,
The beans are crying in the pot:
" Originally we were grown from the same root,
Why are you boiling me so urgently? "
This Quatrain of seven steps poem described sibling’s quarrels and the fights between them similar to animalistic behaviour, it is against justice and it should not be allowed in human nature, especially as a Buddhist.
As siblings we ought to love, care, tolerate and accept each other even more than people outside the family. We are not wild animals who consume our siblings. We are human beings. Human beings have love, compassion and understanding. As a Buddhist we promote these human values, we love our neighbours let alone our siblings. As humans we also make mistakes and make wrongdoings causing pain to others. However it is important to forgive each other and move on. For those who have hurt us we should show compassion rather than seek retaliation. This will only cause more suffering
I hope whoever is suffering can use it as an experience to learn and reflect and be able to face the problem and come out of the experience with confidence and understanding. I have a mantra which I created for my husband to chant as followed:
“If anything beyond our control, we have to let go.”
We can’t change others but we can change ourselves. So please accept our own siblings as siblings and be a happy family.
I had a colleague who didn’t talk to his sister for more than 10 years as a result of a family piano. His mother had passed away and his sister had wanted the piano. The two siblings eventually went to court and at the end his sister won the court case. However she lived in Canberra and it was too expensive to move the piano from Adelaide to Canberra so she left it at her brother’s house. Until now the piano is still at my colleague’s place. He told me this story and I said to him to make the first move, to forgive his sister and visit his sister as a surprise. He did and now they are happy brothers and sisters again. I just could not comprehend how something so small could stop two siblings from talking to each other for more than 10 years. Is it even worth it?
We only have this lifetime to be brothers or sisters. Is it not sad to see this relationship deteriorate? Buddha has said to be with another person is a result of affinity. Please do not waste this affinity that we are given and let it go to waste.
