When can we have real happiness and security?

My husband received a booklet from a religion group who knocked on our door. He handed me the booklet. It titled “When can we have real happiness and security?” I asked my husband when does he think we can have real happiness and security? He said according to the Bible when the day of judgement comes. I insisted an answer from him not from the Bible. He said he doesn’t know.

Why can’t we have real happiness right now at this moment and feel secure at the same time. What is happiness? What makes us happy? I remember years ago my GP Dr Le Cong asked me what makes me happy. I answered when I see my parents are healthy and my children are well behaved. He said my happiness is based on conditions and it’s not my real happiness.  Then what is real happiness? I have searched on since that day. I asked lots of people about this question – Are you happy? I also asked most of the monks and nuns I have met. Some said this and that, and some even avoid answering me direct. Is happiness that hard to attain? The answer is no.

Back in 1994 I was having postnatal blue after my second child birth. I couldn’t get out from this depression for a long time. At the same time I have made redundant from my best job of my life and I had a boss from hell on my new job. I got discriminated for being a woman, a mother and an Asian from my boss. On top of all these, I have a husband wanted to divorce with me if I worked too hard. I attempted to commit suicide. I couldn’t think there was a way out. I think I was the unhappiest person on this world. No one could understand me and care if I disappear from this world. One day I drove along Greenhill road to work. I was thinking why do I want a bigger house? Why do I want to have a brand new big 4-wheel-drive? Why do I want to have all these things? I saw myself chasing these material things like a dog chasing it’s own tail – round and round. I told myself to stop chasing. This is a game that I have played for more than 30 years – a better grade, a better job, a better house, a better car, a better ….. I have non-stop chasing and yet I was so unhappy. I couldn’t understand myself. I look around. There are millions people dying without food; disasters have happened every single day; pollution; greenhouse affect; etc. etc. why am I worrying my own tiny problems? I couldn’t find an answer until I started my spiritual quest in 1996.

 During my spiritual quest, I bumped into 2 big cults – Yi Guan Dao and Master Qing Hai. I couldn’t find my inner happiness in these two groups so I searched on. The minute I found Buddhism, I know all my problems have been solved. I read lots of the Buddhist’s books I could find and internet search. I started to understand lots of things. I understand myself. Why I behave like this? I feel content. After my vipassana  retreat, many trips to Asia visiting orphanages and nursing homes, and my recent bowel cancer event. I finally understand what is real happiness. We don’t need to wait for it to come. It’s right here, right now. I look out the window at my work station, I see the blue sky. I smile to myself. Today is such a beautiful day and I am so happy that I am still breathing, typing this article.

Real happiness is:

Being content

Helping others

Wanting less

Happy for others’ happiness and success

Understand and accept the impermanent, so that we don’t feel scare and worry

Appreciate your surrounding – people, things, place, climate